For those of you who are chili-challenged:

The Proper for the Feast Day of St. Bones Hook, patron of chili:

Lord, God, you know us old cowhands is forgetful. 
Sometimes, I can't even recollect what happened yesterday. 
We is forgetful. We just know daylight from dark, summer, fall, winter, and spring. 
But I sure hope we don't never forget to thank you before we eat a mess of good chili.

We don't know why, in your wisdom, you been so doggone good to us. 
The heathen Chinese don't have no chili, never. 
The Frenchmen is left out. 
The Russians don't know no more about chili than a hog knows about a sidesaddle. 
Even the Mexicans don't get a good whiff of chili unless they live around here.

Chili-eaters is some of your chosen people, Lord. 
We don't know why you're so doggone good to us. 
But, Lord God, don't never think we ain't grateful for this chili we are about to eat.

Amen.

Thanks be to God.

Mrs Harris, spiritual descendent of St Bones

From: "Ellen Rains Harris"
Subject: Re: Anglican chili?
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2002 
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But obviously this Anglican "chili" demonstrates the ill-considered "inclusiveness" 
of Anglicans, who apparently will include anything in their "chili" (so called). 
This is like putting brussel sprouts in chocolate cake.

The whole idea of putting beans in bona fide chili is a grave heresy. 
It was done by all the heretics -- Simon the Magician, Marcion, Arius, Nestorius, Pelagius, etc.

As the Apostle said, "Do not put beans in chili." (This is the real, mystical meaning of 
1 Corinthians 10:20-23. "... I do not want you to be partners with demons.... You cannot 
partake of ... the table of demons. Shall we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger 
than he? 'All things are lawful,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful,' 
but not all things build up."

The great ecumenical council of Nicea issued as its first anathema, 
"Let him who putteth beans in chili be anathema."

And our Lord privately cautioned the disciples, "Thou shalt not put beans in the chili." 
When the devil entered Judas, he put beans in his chili and then betrayed Jesus for 
30 pieces of silver.

Date: Thu, 07 Feb 2002
From: "Ken Peck" 
Subject: Re: Anglican chili?